The King's Word
by CJBH
Summary: Set after S4, and aiming to stay as close as possible to the series' characters and it's "feel". Morgana has a dream of the future and uses this knowledge to set in motion a train of events designed to bring Arthur to his knees and to change the future of Camelot forever. This may or may not interfere with Series 5, takes from one version of the legend.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The candle was burning low inside the small cottage in the forest. In the candle's dim light, Morgana began to twitch as she lay sleeping on her bed. And she became more agitated as the dream that had come to her began to play out its scenes within her subconscious mind. As on so many occasions before, she could see part of the future, but not how it would unfold. And one image in the dream caused her to cry out and wake suddenly, immediately sitting up and breathing heavily, her dark eyes casting around her as her mind raced.

Experience had taught her that she was not always able to change what her dreams predicted – she realised that now. But what she also knew was that the knowledge that her dreams gave her allowed her to plan and to be prepared. A cruel smile came to her face as a course of action began to unfold in her mind, and as she began to realise how this new revelation of what was to come could be used powerfully to her advantage.

As she sat on her bed, an old woman - Esme – came into Morgana's small sleeping chamber. She was the closest thing that Morgana had to a servant, and the old woman knew the art of sorcery. She had been a servant to her when Morgana was growing up in the palace, but had fled in fear for her life when Uther had began to suspect her of magic. When she heard of Morgana's powers and her stand against first Uther and then Arthur, she had sought her old mistress out and offered to help her in whatever way she wanted. She had given her small house deep in the forest over to Morgana, and for the moment it sufficed for the witch's needs.

By the time Esme came in to check on Morgana, having heard her cry out, Morgana knew what she had to do.

"Esme, I am going to send you to Camelot. Make sure no one will recognise you…."

"My Lady?"

"There is something you are to look out for and when it happens, you are to come and tell me. I am going to deal a blow to my dear brother that will bring him to his knees. I am going to make him wish he had never taken his place on the throne of Camelot."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Merlin, as usual, entered the royal chambers without knocking, carrying breakfast on a tray. Arthur was lying in bed, already awake for once. The routine was so familiar to Merlin that, as was often the case, his mind was somewhere else. And so it was that when Guinevere's head suddenly appeared above the sheets, Merlin was momentarily startled, resulting in the carefully balanced tray becoming dangerously unbalanced and then Merlin losing the fight to regain equilibrium entirely. The way in which the tray's contents went up in the air together with the tray itself and then came crashing to the ground was spectacular, even by Merlin's standards.

Arthur sat up in bed with a look somewhere between incredulity and exasperation on his face.

"Merlin! How long have Guinevere and I been married?"

Merlin opened his mouth to reply, but before he could get a word out, Arthur continued his tirade.

"No, don't answer that! Let me tell you. Long enough that by now you should have got used to the fact that there are now two people in this bed, and one of them is a female. Got that?"

Again, Arthur didn't give him any time to reply.

"I know that you're a little simple when it comes to the ways of love and romance, but even you should know that a marriage involves TWO people…!"

"Yes, Sire" replied Merlin, who was already crouched down trying to salvage breakfast and get everything back on the tray, a task that wasn't made any easier by the pillow that came flying over, hitting him in such a way that the tray and what was back on it clattered to the ground again.

"Oh, it's so good to see that you're so much more mature now that you're married".

If there was one thing that Merlin and Arthur excelled at together, it was sarcastic banter.

Arthur turned to Gwen who was already laughing at their exchange: "See what I've had to put up with all these years!"

But Merlin made his own appeal to the queen: "If you haven't already found out, my Lady, he's always worse in the morning until he's had breakfast".

That earned another pillow from Arthur, and the words, "So if I were you, Merlin, I'd hurry up and get us some breakfast that HASN'T been on the floor".

Gwen added with a laugh, "I don't know how you've put up with him for so long!"

Arthur gave a triumphant smile: "Exactly!", although this was immediately followed by a less triumphant "Oh….", as he realised that his wife had been speaking to Merlin.

Arthur didn't remain beaten for long. He looked at Guinevere mischievously.

"Are you being disloyal to your king? You should know that there are consequences…."

And with that he pulled her down under the sheets, and exploited the knowledge he now had of his wife's vulnerable points, resulting in shrieks of laughter and uncontrollable giggling from her, as he asked her whether she would recant, something that it was actually impossible for her to do at that moment because she was laughing so much.

Merlin grinned with genuine pleasure at seeing two of the people that he cared for most so happy together. But as Merlin walked towards the door carrying the tray with the ruined breakfast, Arthur's head popped up above the sheets, still with the mischievous look on his face.

"And if I were you, Merlin, I would make sure that you knock VERY loudly and wait before you come in when you get back. Am I making myself clear?"

Merlin grinned back at his friend, "As crystal, Sire…."

But before Merlin reached the door, there WAS a knock on it. Arthur sighed. For all the benefits of his position, there were times when being king was frankly an inconvenience. He took a moment before responding, in which time both he and Guinevere tried to compose themselves and look slightly less ruffled and slightly more regal, and Guinevere was also trying to catch her breath and stop laughing.

Leon entered when Arthur shouted, "Come!" and gave a small bow to them both. "I'm sorry to interrupt your majesties at his early hour"

Arthur replied with a graciousness that he didn't entirely feel, "I know you wouldn't have done so unless there was a good cause".

"It's Lot's men again, Sire".

And with that, Arthur sighed again, rolled back the covers of the bed and pulled himself out.

Once dressed, Arthur went with Leon and Merlin to the Round Table, where the Council now met, although everyone was standing around the table rather than sitting at it on this occasion, and Arthur didn't expect it would be worth their while to take their seats.

The king took control immediately, addressing the patrol that was there to make its report.

"Are you sure it was Lot's men?"

"They were wearing his livery, your majesty".

"And how many were there this time?" It wasn't the first time Arthur had asked this question recently.

"About fifteen, Sire"

"And did they cross the border?"

"Not on this occasion, my Lord. They fired on us, before galloping off, and we had no time to return fire"

"Were there casualties?"

"None, my Lord"

There wasn't much discussion to be had, and they had been here before. Arthur continued,

"I suggest we continue with the response that we agreed - keep the patrols going out and keep a close watch out for more of them. If the situation changes, so will our response".

The others in the room all nodded in agreement, and with that, Arthur left with Merlin for a now long overdue breakfast.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Morgana noticed that Lot's castle had undergone some changes since it had belonged to Cenred. She climbed the stone stairs up to the citadel with her black cloak billowing out behind her in the wind. Her request to be taken to the king had been granted, and she was now flanked with two of Lot's guards, who were definitely more afraid of her than she of them. Her reputation was by now well known, as were her powers.

When she entered Lot's throne-room, she found the king seated on his throne, lazily eating an apple and looking in perfect control of everything around him. But he was intrigued as to what had brought the witch and the sister of his enemy into his courts.

"Welcome Lady Morgana". He waited for her to respond.

"I thank you for willingness to see me".

Lot studied Morgana's face in the pause that followed. He found her inscrutable.

"Your witchcraft is more welcome here than it is in your brother's kingdom. You wield a very powerful weapon, Morgana Pendragon".

"My brother is a fool to reject its power, but I intend to make him pay dearly for his intolerance."

Morgana smiled in a way that slightly unsettled Lot, although he did not show it.

"So why are you here, my Lady?"

Her response was a simple one: "We want the same thing. Maybe it is time we started working together".

Lot studied her once again. Her offer seemed a sensible one on the surface, but Morgana's treachery was well known. But he was still intrigued and any chance to hit back at Arthur and Camelot was not something to be lightly rejected.

"And what exactly do you have in mind?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It was almost a month later that Arthur received the next report about Lot's men. The news had come in fairly early in the morning, even before Merlin had had time to bring breakfast to Arthur, and the king had decided that it was time for him to ride out with the knights and, as ever, with his trusted servant. Although Arthur could easily have sent one of his guards to fetch Merlin, he went himself on this occasion, as there was a second purpose for going to Gaius' chambers. Arthur dropped it in, deliberately casually, before he and Merlin left the room.

"Oh, and Gaius, could you look in on Guinevere for me whilst we're gone. She's not been feeling very well".

Although Athur tried to sound matter of fact, it was clear to the other two that he was worried about her.

"Certainly, Sire"

"Thank you, Gaius"

And with that short exchange, Arthur and Merlin left the court physician to his work and went to join the knights, as they prepared to ride to Camelot's borders.

Arthur and his knights rode fast to the border. But by the time they reached the place where the patrol had spotted Lot's soldiers, they were long gone. Camelot's men dismounted their horses, and all of them walked over to the shallow but wide river, the Caradon, that marked the border with Lot's kingdom.

Arthur broke the silence. "It's as if they're taunting us".

"Why doesn't he simply attack Camelot?". Gwaine was the one who asked the question.

Arthur looked across the border, and his brow furrowed. "I don't know. But if we catch any of them across the borders again, I will issue them an ultimatum that they cannot ignore". After re-mounting, they spent most of the morning riding further up the border, but nothing more was seen of Lot's soldiers, and eventually Arthur decided that it was time to return to Camelot.

When Arthur and Merlin returned to the royal chambers some time after noon, they found Gaius there, with Guinevere still in bed. Arthur immediately felt a pang of anxiety, but it was soon dispelled when he saw the expressions on their faces, as neither looked concerned or anxious. On the contrary, the pleased look on Gaius' face and the slightly coy smile on Gwen's left Arthur slightly puzzled, and it was Merlin rather than Arthur who guessed the truth.

Arthur looked from Gwen to Gaius, and with a questioning look on his face addressed the physician, "I trust all is well?".

"I would say very well, your majesty"

Gaius took another look at the queen before continuing: "You're going to be a father".

Merlin had never seen such a look of genuine delight and pride on Arthur's face, and the king was momentarily lost for words, such was his happiness. Arthur walked over to his wife, who was quite radiant by now, with a broad smile on his face, and he lent over to her and kissed her, whispering in her ear, "I'm so proud of you".

And she in turn whispered back, laughing, "I'm not the only one who should take credit for this!".

It was decided that the king and queen would not make the news public until Gwen began to show, and until that time, it was only the four of them in that room, together with the queen's maid, Rowena, and the court midwife who would know about it. But as the weeks passed, the knights noticed a change in Arthur. He constantly seemed to be in a good mood, even seeming to welcome Gwaine's incessant chatter and jokes. Merlin had certainly never seen Arthur happier or more content with his life. Not that Arthur was throwing objects at him any less, but he was just doing so with a broader smile on his face, and Merlin found he could get away with more than he usually did.

Merlin thought often about how Arthur and Guinevere would be as parents. He knew already that both of them loved children, and he couldn't imagine any child wishing for a better father and mother. Theirs would truly be a blessed child. And to Merlin it seemed that the age of Albion was finally dawning, and it was with a certain amount of satisfaction that he reflected on the fact that his destiny had made him an invaluable part of that, and without him and his magic, this glorious future would have faltered and died long ago.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Finally, of course, the day came when Arthur and Guinevere could keep their secret no longer, and an official announcement was made. The mood of Camelot had been optimistic ever since Arthur had taken the throne, helped by the lowering of taxes and prices and several good harvests. Arthur had even, with the agreement of the Council, abolished several of the taxes which he thought were pointless. But its mood became positively ebullient with the news of a prospective heir for the throne, and the streets of the city seemed to constantly buzz with a general sense of well-being and hope. And on the day when the news was announced, the king and queen had an unexpected interruption just as they were finishing their evening meal in the dining hall.

Normally, anyone entering the room would have knocked before being admitted into Arthur's presence, but on this occasion the door was simply flung open, and in walked his inner circle of knights, all with broad smiles on their faces. Arthur, who would, more often than not, have been irritated at such a blatant invasion of his and Guinevere's privacy, just looked at his knights enquiringly, intrigued by a clearly good natured interruption. It was the king's brother in law who spoke first. Elyan had a greater freedom speaking to Arthur than the others because of his close link with the king.

"You're coming with us for a drink, Sire".

Arthur protested with a laugh, "You are NOT taking me to the tavern!"

It was Gwaine who countered with a simple statement of fact: "Yes we are".

Arthur was already enjoying the encounter, so protested with mock seriousness.

"You know I could throw you all in the stocks for insubordination".

Leon, countered again. "Ah yes, but we invoke the Round Table".

"Meaning?"

And it was Merlin, who was also present from serving the meal, who came in this time, quoting Arthur's words back to him: "…. no one man more important than any other…. equality in all things"

Arthur retorted, "It's good to know, Merlin, that you do actually take in what I say sometimes!"

"When I need to, Sire - when I need to"

Gwaine continued, "So, all in favour of the king being led astray in the Rising Sun?"

All the knights and Merlin raised their hands and answered with a hearty, "Aye!", and Gwen, with the latest of Arthur's playful attacks on her weak spots that morning still fresh in her mind, also raised her hand and said, "Aye!"

Arthur raised his eyebrows at his wife, to which she responded by smiling sweetly back at him - "Revenge!"

None of the knights would ordinarily have dared to manhandle the king, but for some reason they all in this instance felt at liberty to do so, as if the occasion demanded it, and Arthur on his part felt no need to take offence or to object. As they began to drag Arthur across room, with Merlin trying to get him into one of his leather jackets as they went, Arthur simply announced,

"Well, you're NOT getting me drunk if that's what you think!".

This was, of course, the most unwise thing that he could possibly have said. Each of the knights at that moment knew independently that it was their objective that evening to do precisely that. As they finally bundled Arthur out of the door, Elyan shouted back to his sister, "Don't wait up for him, Gwen!".

And Arthur added as he disappeared through the door, "I'll try not to wake you!"

It had been a very long time since Arthur had been into one of the taverns of Camelot, and certainly not as king. The reaction of the tavern to the entrance of their monarch and his knights was to instantly fell silent and rise to their feet, not out of fear but out of respect for their king. Except, that is, for one unfortunate man in the corner with his back to the door, who kept on talking until his friend kicked him under the table, causing him to look around, dry up in mid sentence, and hastily stand up with a look of great embarrassment on his face. Arthur smiled at them all, "As you were", and the mood and chatter of the tavern suddenly became extremely animated at the presence of their king.

The innkeeper, who was finding it hard to control his obvious delight at his royal visitor, came over to their table.

"Your majesty, any drinks you desire for you and your men this evening come with my compliments, on this day of such momentous and happy news."

Merlin was quick to respond in the light-hearted tone that the evening had already taken on: "No, make him pay! He's the one with the money!"

The innkeeper replied with genuine feeling, "No, I insist, my Lord".

Arthur smiled warmly at him, but continued, "I thank you for your generous offer, but I insist that I won't take anything I haven't paid for. A tankard of ale, if you please, for each of my men and myself"

As the innkeeper nodded and turned to fulfil the king's request, Arthur whispered a quick aside to Merlin with a rather sheepish look on his face.

"You did bring some of my money with you, didn't you?".

"Of course, Sire! It's what you pay me for".

"I actually pay you for your incompetence?" Arthur joked in an incredulous tone.

"Yes, but then look what I have to put up with…." Merlin countered with a grin.

The banter between Arthur, Merlin and the knights continued unabated for all of the evening. There were numerous references to "Uncle Elyan" (much to Elyan's obvious delight), and much speculation as to whether it would be a boy or a girl, something that Arthur had talked endlessly about with Gwen. Although he had stated to her that it didn't matter to him, he did, of course, secretly hope that his firstborn would be a boy. Merlin's comment that he threw into the general merriment was that if it was a boy, he would undoubtedly inherit his father's tact, humility and sensitivity, which resulted, hardly surprisingly, with Arthur throwing the nearest object (which happened to be the remnants of a burnt-out candle) at him, hitting him on the side of his head, which led Merlin to state (to no one in particular), "I rest my case".

Arthur had been the first of the group to marry, and there was much conversation about the ladies in the court and which of the knights they could be married off to, and even Merlin was not exempt from the jokes. When with his knights, Arthur usually maintained a slight distance from their joking and horse-play, preferring simply to be a spectator, feeling it somehow wouldn't be quite right for him, as their leader and king, to be a participator. But on this evening, whether as a result of the drink or of high spirits or both, Arthur added plenty of his own contributions to the animated and often uproarious exchanges, including his suggestion of marrying off Leon to Princess Elena (to whom Arthur had once, under duress, proposed), as Leon had in a moment of utter rashness confessed to Arthur that he'd thought her extremely beautiful.

Gwaine's humour was, as usual, loud and raucous, but as the evening wore on (and the ale flowed freely) it was actually Arthur's stories that caused the greatest outbursts of laughter. His knowledge of Camelot and a lifetime's experience of court had gifted him with a wealth of tales to tell, and even Merlin, who undoubtedly knew Arthur far better than anyone else at the table, was surprised to see Arthur's sense of humour being given free rein as never before, and it gladdened his heart to see it.

And despite Arthur's best intentions, it would be true to say that by the time the evening ended, the knights had gone a fair way to achieving their objective, and although Arthur was still just about able to stand and walk unaided, it would also be true to say that the route that he and Merlin took back to his chambers was not the most direct one, and involved a number of collisions with various pieces of masonry along the way.

As they entered Arthur's chambers, the king hissed to Merlin in a voice that was slightly louder than he'd intended, "Shhhhh. Don't wake Gwen".

It was something of a minor miracle that the queen stayed sleeping as long as she did, given the number of objects that were knocked to the floor as Merlin tried to steer Arthur towards the bed, Merlin having imbibed fairly freely himself that evening too.

When Merlin suggested that he could help Arthur off with his boots, the slightly slurred response (in a rather loud whisper) was short and to the point.

"I am perfectly capable of taking off my boots"

The response from Merlin also came in a rather loud whisper, as he folded his arms and looked at Arthur.

"Prove it then".

Arthur, of course, found that when he had only one leg on the ground, he was considerable less stable (if that was the word for it) than he had been with two. Merlin watched with a certain amount of satisfaction as Arthur slowly keeled over and ended up on his backside on the floor.

"Yes, I can see you're perfectly capable now"

"Sshhhhh. You'll wake Gwen"

"I'll wake Gwen?" and he added in another loud whisper, "… because you're obviously making far less noise than I am"

"Shut up Merlin"

Despite Arthur's previous protest, Merlin did indeed end up helping to pull Arthur's boots off, and when that task was finally completed (after not a small amount of effort on both their parts), Arthur, who was still otherwise fully clothed, suggested to Merlin "Maybe I'll just go to bed like this". It did, however, take some effort to actually get him there, but Merlin finally bid the king good-night, and made it to the door without any major mishaps along the way.

The fact that Arthur was actually lying perilously close to the edge of the bed became apparent seconds after Merlin had left the room, when he rolled off onto the floor, dragging the bedcover off with him, and somehow managing to tangle himself up in it as he fell. As he lay on the floor on his back, looking up at the ceiling, Gwen's face appeared over the edge of the bed, looking down at him. "What was it you said - "I'll try not to wake you"?"

Arthur looked like a chastened child, and replied in a still somewhat slurred voice: "Maybe I'll just sleep down here tonight".

"Would you like a pillow?"

Arthur just grinned happily back at his wife.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

In the days and weeks after the announcement, the mood of Camelot continued to lift. Everyone felt, as Merlin had done, that they were entering into a new and golden era under Arthur and Guinevere. But no one, of course, took any notice of a maid slipping away. Esme had bided her time in the city, waiting and watching and most of all, listening out for the proclamation that Morgana had so accurately predicted. And when it came, Esme disappeared from Camelot as noiselessly as she had arrived, and delivered to her mistress the news that she had been waiting for. But Morgana didn't act straight away. She knew how to play her hand to the greatest and deadliest effect.

What did happen, however, as time went by was a continuation of the taunting of Camelot by Lot's soldiers, coming close to the border but not crossing it. The day eventually came, however, when Arthur was given the news that they had crossed the Caradon – the unmistakable boundary between the two kingdoms. Arthur lost no time in responding, and unlike the previous occasion, he and the knights caught Lot's men before they had time to draw back across the river. Arthur positioned his own soldiers between the enemy soldiers and the Caradon, effectively cutting off their retreat, and there followed a skirmish that was swift but brutal. There were casualties on both sides, and Elyan would have been one of them, had Arthur himself not intervened and felled a soldier that was about to strike Elyan unawares. The two men stood side by side for a few seconds, both breathing heavily, and Elyan was the first to speak.

"You should not have put your life at risk for me, my Lord"

Arthur just grinned back at him: "Believe me, it's a small price to pay for keeping me in my wife's good books!"

But Arthur's strategy in the battle had not been to kill Lot's men unnecessarily. He was also interested in keeping at least some of them alive, and had given an order to his men to that effect. And so it was that, when the fighting had ceased and all of Lot's men had either fallen in battle, found a way back across the Caradon or been captured, the prisoners were brought before Arthur as he had directed. The king called for the writing case to be brought, and Merlin duly took out parchment, ink and a quill, and awaited Arthur's dictation.

It was a letter that Arthur didn't need time to compose, as it had already been written in his head for several weeks, knowing that one day he was likely to be sending it to Lot. And so Merlin began to write, as Arthur dictated the words.

"In the interests of avoiding unnecessary bloodshed, I have given you and your soldiers more leeway than would reasonably be expected. But know this: any further trespassing of Camelot's borders will be seen as a flagrant act of aggression and will be met by decisive action which will begin by Camelot's deliberate advance into your land. Until that time, I give you my word that I, on my part, will respect your borders. If you desire peace and the avoidance of Camelot's retribution, you will on your part, respect our borders. Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot".

Arthur duly signed the letter and placed the royal seal upon it. He then addressed the soldier whom he knew to be the most senior ranking amongst those who had been captured, and there was no mistaking the tone of authority in Arthur's voice.

"You will give this to your king, and make sure that he reads it. You are lucky to escape with your life today."

And with that, the handful of men who had been captured alive turned and made a hasty retreat back across into Lot's kingdom, bearing Arthur's message to their king.

That encounter seemed to settle the matter, temporarily if not permanently, as there were no more intrusions by Lot's men into Arthur's kingdom or even sightings near the border. There was, however, an intrusion that was far more significant, but that went unnoticed. It was when the queen was only two weeks away from giving birth that Morgana entered Camelot. Her sorcery was well advanced by now, and as others had done before her, she took the physical form of an unfortunate palace maid, who had been unlucky enough to be remembered by Morgana from the time that she had lived in Camelot. And while the maid's lifeless body lay in a spot just outside the lower town, where it would not be noticed, Morgana entered Camelot perfectly disguised.

There was no need for her to even attempt to get near to the king or queen. All she needed to do was to enter the palace kitchens – a task that was almost laughably easy given the fact that the maid was normally required to be there as part of her job – and then it was a small matter to slip the potion she carried with her in a small vial into the drinking water that was taken into the royal chambers, knowing that it would go undetected until it was too late. She had played her card, and so confident was she of its success, that she didn't even wait in Camelot to see it's results, but left as quietly and unnoticed as she had entered, in the sure knowledge that before the night was out, her goal would be achieved.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It was shortly after they had retired to bed that Arthur was awakened by the sound of Gwen screaming. And when she reached out to hold onto him, he could tell, despite the dark, that her hands were covered in blood. Even Arthur, with his very limited knowledge of childbirth, knew immediately that something was wrong. His urgent shout to the guards who always stood outside his room brought them running in within seconds. His command was short and to the point.

"Fetch Gauis and immediately".

And when the guards walked quickly towards the door, Arthur bellowed angrily at them:"RUN!"

As Gaius collected just a few of his medicines before leaving his rooms, he sent Merlin ahead of him to summon Gwen's maid Rowena and the court midwife as well, but Merlin still arrived before his mentor. By the time the physician did arrive, Merlin had lit all the candles in the royal chambers, and was standing nervously near the bed. His nervousness, however, was nothing compared to what Arthur was feeling as he continued to hold his wife's hand as she lay on the bed screaming in agony. Even in the candlelight it was clear that Arthur was ashen faced, and had an expression of panic. His anxiety was not made any less by the look of deep concern that he saw on the midwife's face when she entered the room only moments after Gaius.

Gaius immediately took control.

"Your majesty, it would be better if you wait outside with Merlin".

Arthur stood, took another anguished look at his wife, and implored the physician, "Help her, Gaius. Do something!"

"The queen has the best help possible here. Now go with Merlin and allow us to care for Guinevere".

Merlin laid a hand on Arthur's arm, and guided him towards the door, and when they were outside Merlin took the lead and dismissed the guards so that they could have privacy, and found two chairs nearby and brought them for them both. Merlin had never seen Arthur looking so scared. The fear that had been lurking at the back of Arthur's mind as Gwen's time approached suddenly seemed to be coming to pass. And it was the fear that what had happened to his mother when she had given birth to him would happen to Gwen.

"I can't lose her, Merlin. I can't lose her"

"She's in the best hands. Gaius will take good care of her, trust me".

But Arthur couldn't help blurting out the fear that was holding his heart in an icy grip.

"But he couldn't stop my mother from dying when I was born."

And much as he hated to say the words, Merlin reasoned in a way that he hoped would comfort his friend.

"But that was the result of magic, Arthur. This is different."

Arthur gave no immediate response to this, but if Merlin's words had brought any comfort, Arthur's expression didn't show it.

The hours that followed were the longest in Arthur's life. Merlin soon ran out of things to say, and so mostly the two of them sat in silence, although Arthur frequently rose to his feet and paced back and forth. He was, however, often stopped dead in his tracks when they heard Guinevere scream, and Merlin couldn't help but feel pity for his friend when he saw the pained expressions on his face that those screams evoked.

Arthur simply did not know what to do with himself, and was besides himself with worry. He had never felt so completely impotent - his wife was suffering and there was nothing he could do about it. His mouth felt very dry and there was an awful feeling in the pit of his stomach which only seemed to grow as the hours of darkness dragged by. Not knowing what was happening inside the room felt like a slow torture, but eventually he heard the handle of the door begin to turn, and was on his feet in an instant.

Gaius emerged and pulled the door to quietly behind him. Arthur searched Gaius' face, wanting so desperately to know the answer to the questions that he could hardly bring himself to ask. But before the first question had even come out of Arthur's mouth, Gaius had answered it.

"Guinevere's life is safe – she isn't in any danger."

Arthur let out the breath that he had been holding, but his relief was only partial. And as if to answer his second question, the midwife at that moment emerged from the room, carrying a bloodied blanket, in which something was clearly wrapped. She couldn't meet the king's eyes, and simply scurried away down one of the castle's dark corridors with her sad burden. Arthur felt as if a knife had been driven in the core of his being, as Gaius' words confirmed what his heart already knew: "… but I'm afraid the baby didn't survive".

He laid his hand on Arthur's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Arthur, he only took a single breath before he died".

Merlin watched as the meaning of Gaius' words sunk into Arthur. Never had the one small word "he" held such significance.

His voice sounded choked. "I had a son?"

Gaius nodded as Arthur stood looking pale and in shock.

The king then gave a little shake of his head as he had suddenly come to, and with a dazed expression said to the other two, "I must go into Guinevere. She will need me", and he turned to make a move.

But Gaius laid his hand gently on Arthur's arm to restrain him. He chose his words carefully.

"The queen needs to be attended to first, Sire".

And Merlin knew the truth that those words hid – that there would be much blood to be cleaned up. Gaius continued, "Maybe it would be better, my Lord, if Merlin took you to get some fresh air in the meantime".

Again Merlin knew that Gaius wanted to shield Arthur from the harsh reality of Guinevere's struggle, but Arthur was adamant about wanting to stay close by.

"No, I will not leave".

Merlin understood more fully Gaius' wisdom when the mattress and the sheets that had been on the bed were carried out of the room. Once again, the colour drained from Arthur's face when he saw them and the extent to which they were stained deep red. Although he was used to seeing blood in battles, the knowledge that it was the blood of his wife and his son left Arthur feeling nauseous and as if he had been stabbed once again in the stomach, and he lowered his head into his hands and stared at the ground as the two of them sat side by side.

Gaius and Rowena finally emerged from the room. Rowena had wanted to stay beside her mistress, to care for her needs, but Gaius wisely understood the need for Arthur and Guinevere to have some time alone together. Gaius spoke gently to Arthur.

"You may go in now, your majesty. I have given your wife some medicine to ease her pain and help her to sleep. But both of you need time to rest. Merlin will be along later to attend to your needs".

Merlin nodded, and his eyes met Arthur's. He almost couldn't bear to see the depth of sadness and pain that were there.

And with a monumental effort Arthur buried his own feelings as he went in to his wife, just as it was getting light. He laid down on the bed next to Guinevere, and held her very gently as she sobbed. All Arthur could think of to say to her was, "There will be others" before kissing her gently on the top of her head.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Merlin waited until mid-morning before going back in to see the couple. He took a tray of food for them, with a wide range of items from the palace kitchens, not knowing what, if anything, they would want. He found Arthur, sitting in a chair by the table, staring blankly into space whilst Gwen was sleeping, largely as a result of the potion that Gaius had given her. Arthur looked up when he heard Merlin slip into the room, but looked down again without saying a word as Merlin came over and set the tray down on the table. Merlin spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb Guinevere, and as he did, Arthur kept his eyes fixed on the table.

"Would you like anything to eat, Sire?"

Arthur replied in a dull tone. "I'm not hungry".

"I've leave the food with you anyway".

Merlin knew that he would have to take the lead: "What do you need me to do for you, Sire?"

Arthur looked up again at his servant, and to Merlin he appeared completely drained of all energy and emotion. "I need to be with Guinevere today. Could you cancel everything I'm meant to be doing?"

"I've already done that, Sire".

"Thank you, Merlin".

"There are some members of the court, including Elyan, who wish to bring their condolences. Do you feel up to seeing them later?"

Arthur just shook his head slightly, but then added, "Maybe Elyan, this evening".

Merlin continued to speak quietly to his master. "Is there anything else, Arthur?"

"No, that'll be all". And Arthur didn't speak again.

Merlin crept out, and spent the rest of the day extremely busy, dealing with the king's business, and covering for all the things that Arthur wasn't able to do. He fended off those who wanted to see Arthur, and the only person other than Merlin to see them during the daytime was Gaius, who came to check on Guinevere. When Merlin returned to them around lunchtime, he found Guinevere still laying on the bed, but awake this time. Again, Merlin didn't know quite what to say to her, other the simple line, "I am so sorry, my Lady". She was too choked to reply to him, so simply nodded to acknowledge his words, which she knew he meant from the bottom of his heart. She did, however, manage to thank Merlin before he left for taking in the tray with fresh provisions for them both, including some soup and medication for herself. And when Merlin went back later, Arthur had managed to get his wife to take food. His remained untouched.

But Merlin wasn't entirely able to protect the king that day. Lot's soldiers had been spotted by a patrol, and the nature of the encounter meant that Arthur had to be called to the Council.

When Merlin came to fetch the king, he had also arranged for Rowena to bring warm water and towels to allow the queen to wash and refresh herself. It also meant that she wasn't left alone, something for which Arthur was again grateful.

The council chamber fell completely silent as Arthur and Merlin walked in together. All the Council members were standing behind their seats at the Round Table, and Arthur was very conscious of the fact that every eye was fixed on him as he walked across to his place at the table, although he avoided all eye contact. Each one of the Council was acutely aware of what had happened only hours earlier, and to all of them it seemed a particularly cruel twist of fate that it should be that day, of all days, that Lot chose to taunt Arthur and Camelot again. They had all seen Arthur the previous day, when the Council had met to discuss a proposal put forward by a delegation from one of the other neighbouring kingdoms, and he had been brimming with confidence, at ease but completely focused, and full of smiles and wit. None of them could quite believe the change that they saw in him in just one day. The king they now saw before them was pale and drawn and seemed a shadow of the person he'd been the day before.

As Arthur took his seat, all the others did so too. But before anyone could say anything to him, Arthur took control, addressing the two members of the patrol who stood to his left.

"What happened?"

"We were on patrol at the border, near the village of Huwell, when a band of Lot's soldiers were seen across the Caradon. They didn't fire on us or cross the border"

"How many?"

There was a pause - this was the reason why the Council had been convened.

"We reckoned somewhere between three and four score, my Lord."

A loud murmer went through the Council. There had never been anywhere near that number before.

"And where are they now?"

"They rode up further along the river, to the north, Sire. The rest of the patrol stayed with them, following them, whilst the two of us returned. We thought you ought to know".

"You did well". Arthur turned towards those at the table, but still not making eye contact with any of them. "I will lead a guard matching that number to the border immediately in case they decide to cross the Caradon".

But Leon spoke before Arthur was able to add anything to this.

"My Lord, if you will permit me, I will lead the guard in your stead today".

There was another silence, and once again, every eye was on the king, who was steadfastly staring at the table. The issue of Arthur's loss had been raised, albeit in an indirect manner.

Arthur still did not look up as he replied. "It is the duty of the king, first and foremost, to protect Camelot and its people. I will go".

Those around the Round Table were silent once again, none of them wanting to oppose Arthur, but all of them feeling strongly that his place was not out on a potential battle-field that day..

It was Gaius who spoke up, and his words were spoken quietly but firmly. "Your majesty, I speak now not primarily as a member of the Council, but as your physician. You should not be riding out today. I trust that you will accept my medical judgment, and that we will not have to put it to a show of hands of the Council".

Arthur swallowed hard, still looking down. He knew that every person around him was utterly loyal to him, but he could also judge the mood of the Council well enough to know that if it went to a show of hands, every one of them would vote against him, and it would be the first time he would have been over-ruled by the Round Table. There was another long pause before Arthur answered.

"Very well". Arthur looked in Leon's direction, although still not meeting his eyes. "You know the directive we issued to Lot. Stick to it. Do not fire upon them unless fired upon first, and under absolutely no circumstances are you to cross the Caradon unless they breach the border first, regardless of their provocation. Are you clear on that?"

"Yes, your majesty".

"The Council is dismissed"

And with that, and before anyone else could speak to him, Arthur rose, as did all the others, and he turned and swept out of the council chambers as abruptly as he'd entered.

Merlin, who had been standing, as he usually did, to one side of the table, had been watching Arthur closely during all that had happened. He didn't follow Arthur out straightaway, and he immediately found himself surrounded by Arthur's inner circle of knights, all concerned about the king and queen and wanting to ask after their welfare. It was far easier to answer about Guinevere than about Arthur. He could tell that Arthur was trying to be strong for his wife, but beyond that he had to admit that he didn't really have a clue what was going on inside Arthur. It wasn't difficult, however, for the knights to see the concern that was etched on the servant's face.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Early the following morning, shortly after dawn, whilst most of Camelot was still sleeping, Merlin, Arthur and Elyan slipped out of the city. The early hour was to give them privacy, but even at that time in the morning, the first of Camelot's citizens were out on the streets, and their reaction to the party was the same in every case: they stood still, with their heads bowed, until the three men had passed. For each of the three was carrying something significant: Merlin, a shovel and Elyan, a small flat stone, but it was what Arthur carried that was most heart-breaking, because in his arms he was holding his son, wrapped in fine white linen which bore a single small Pendragon emblem embroidered in gold, the only indication of the identity of the life-less form within.

Gwen was still too weak for a long walk into the woods. Neither she nor Arthur could face laying their son in the dark vaults of Camelot surrounded by the dead, and they had decided between them that they wanted somewhere that was light and beautiful. They had chosen a clearing in the woods to the south of Camelot that had a small stream running through it, and it was a place that Arthur and Guinevere had been to together on several occasions.

It was the most heartbreaking task that Merlin had ever performed for Arthur, digging the small but deep hole down in the woods. Arthur was grim faced, as he stood holding the tiny bundle, and when Merlin had finished his task, Arthur knelt down next to the hole and laid his tiny child in the small grave. Arthur had insisted to Merlin beforehand that he would fill in the hole himself, with the words "I will bury my son", and although Merlin had half expected to see him shake his head when it came to it to indicate it was too much, Arthur was, as ever, true to his word and took the small shovel from him and buried his child. Each shovelful of earth that he put into the hole, however, felt like another stab to the heart. Elyan then handed him the flat stone that had been engraved with one word – Thomas – and Arthur silently pressed it into the top of the small mound of earth. Although he and Gwen had, in the months whilst she was expecting, discussed many names – both for a boy and a girl – when it came to actually giving a name to their son the previous day, they rejected the more traditional names for royalty in favour of the name of Gwen's father. Not a word was spoken during the whole of the simple burial.

As they walked back to Camelot in silence, the sun was rising in the sky, and although still early, there were far more people in the streets of Camelot than when they'd departed. It hadn't taken long for the news of what Arthur had gone to do to spread, and as they passed through the streets, time and time again, women and children would come up to Arthur, curtsy, and hand him flowers for the queen. It was unlike Arthur not to be grateful for these small tokens of good-will, and had Guinevere been recovering from an illness he would have been touched by the people's affection, but on that morning all he wanted was to be back inside, out of the public gaze and away from everyone. Nevertheless, he still acknowledged each and every gift that was put into his hands, and by the time they got back to Gwen, who was being attended to by Rowena, the three of them were carrying almost every type of wild flower to add to the white lilies with which Arthur had already filled the room.

As Elyan sat with his sister for a while, Arthur turned to Merlin, and asked in a distracted way, "What are my duties today?"

"None, I've cancelled them all again".

Merlin thought that Arthur might protest, but he didn't.

"Thank you, Merlin. You are a good friend. I cannot take any more time off after today, though. I must return to my duties tomorrow"

And the rest of the day was spent similar to the one before, with Merlin attending to their needs, running errands for Arthur, who would often think of something that still needed to be done, despite his normal duties being cancelled. Merlin was aware that once again Arthur was not eating.

It was only as the evening was fairly advanced that Merlin finally returned to Gaius' rooms, walking in to find him sitting at the table, with books scattered in front of him. But Gaius wasn't reading. He was sitting looking pensive with his glasses in his hand. Merlin realised that he hadn't seen Gaius to speak to properly since the previous morning, when Gwen had given birth. When he had returned the previous evening, exhausted after having been up most of the night and busy all of the day, Gaius had been out, a hastily scribbled note indicating that the physician was with Geoffrey of Monmouth in the library. Merlin had fallen asleep quickly and had been sound asleep by the time Gaius returned, and then Merlin had left for the burial just after dawn before Gaius was up and hadn't returned since.

Gaius looked up: "How did it go this morning?"

Merlin shrugged, "As you'd expect, I guess".

"How's Arthur doing?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. He's not talking about it at all. And it certainly didn't help having to deal with Lot's men yesterday". Merlin hardly paused for breath, being glad at last to talk to someone he could trust about his concerns for Arthur. "It seemed so cruel, Lot making a move when Arthur was at his most vulnerable. He couldn't have timed it worse for Arthur if he'd planned it."

"Maybe he did".

Merlin was stunned by Gaius' words. "What do you mean?"

Gaius sighed before he started talking. "I didn't understand what happened yesterday. Gwen was well, and she'd been healthy all the time she was carrying the child. I could understand it if the complications had happened when she'd gone into labour, but from what she described to me, the pains she had initially were not those of child-birth. And there were some things I noticed about the child when it was born that didn't seem to quite add up. I had some memory of reading about something similar before, but it's taken me almost two days to find what I was looking forward. I'm afraid, Merlin, that Guinevere was somehow given a potion – one that was made with the use of sorcery – that caused her to lose the child."

Merlin couldn't believe what he was hearing. Every time that Arthur knowingly encountered magic, it was being used for the worst, and the news that this latest horror had been caused by sorcery left Merlin feeling devastated.

"You think Lot did it somehow?"

"If I am right, I think it more likely that he's in league with someone far more capable to carrying it out."

Neither of them spoke her name, but both knew who he was talking about. After a few moments of silence, Merlin continued: "Arthur will have to be told, won't he?"

Gaius nodded. "Yes, but today isn't the day to do it".

There was something, however, about the expression on Gauis' face that told Merlin that there was something more, something that Gaius still hadn't told him.

"But that's not all, is it?"

"No, Merlin, I'm afraid it isn't".


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

In the end, they let a further two full days pass before they spoke to Arthur, asking to see him in private on the evening of the second day. But in those two days, Merlin had continued to support the grieving couple. Arthur had been uncharacteristically short tempered and moody. The truth was, he'd felt that duty required him to put his own feelings aside and to continue fulfilling his responsibilities as king as normal. The little time he did have out of the public gaze was spent with Gwen, trying to be strong for her and support her in her heartbreak.

But Merlin was one of the few who had began to have some idea of just how deeply it had affected Arthur and his grief could not be completely suppressed or help but come out in other ways, his anger being one of them. And Merlin was the one who had born the brunt of it. Arthur had been almost constantly short-tempered with him, finding fault if Merlin had done the slightest thing wrong, and even when he hadn't. But Merlin had understood. He had tried his best not to annoy Arthur: he hadn't answered back, he'd done everything he could to be efficient, quiet and gentle, and he'd cut his master slack each and every time Arthur was irritable. Arthur had continued to look pale and drawn, and if he did eat, it was only the smallest amount. And much as Merlin and Gaius wanted to give Arthur more time, after two days they felt they could leave it no longer.

Arthur came to Gaius' rooms. It seemed the easiest place to find some privacy, where they knew they wouldn't be disturbed. As Arthur closed the door behind him, he turned to Gaius.

"You asked to see me, Gaius".

There was already a knot in Arthur's stomach. He couldn't think of any reason that Gaius would want to see him like this, unless it was about Guinevere.

"Please take a seat, Sire".

It wasn't the words themselves, but rather the tone with which Gaius spoke them that filled Arthur with a fear that left his mouth horribly dry, and he forced himself to say the next words: "Is there something wrong, Gaius?"

As Arthur listened, Gaius repeated almost word for word the things he had told Merlin two nights before. Arthur sat in a stunned silence for a few moments, before questioning Gaius, starting with a single word.

"Morgana?"

"There is no way of knowing, Sire, but she would certainly have the motivation"

"But how could this happen? All our food and water is tasted before it comes to us"

"Yes, but by whom? Unless the affected water was taken by a woman carrying a child it would pass through the body of any man or any woman without inflicting any harm".

Arthur, once again, looked in deep shock, but worse was still to come.

"I'm afraid that's not all, Sire. The potion that I believe she drank may have a more permanent effect".

Arthur could barely bring himself to voice his question, "What do you mean?"

"She may not have lost just the child, Sire; she may have lost ability to have another".

There was a long silence, as Arthur fixed his eyes on the floor and tried to take in the enormity of what he was being told, although whatever fresh anguish had been brought to his heart was kept to himself. Eventually Arthur spoke again, hanging on to the one piece of hope that was in the physician's words. "You said "may have had a more permanent effect"? Then it's not definite?"

"I am sure of the effect, my Lord, but what I mean is that there is a possible cure".

"Go on…"

"I believe there is an ancient cure for the damage that has been wrought. It took me long time to find it. It is in druid lore…."

"You mean magic?"

"Not exactly, my Lord. You know that the druids are a peaceable people, but they are also a very ancient people. Their knowledge goes back a long way before that of any others. They understand the workings of the world possibly better than anyone, and their writings speak of a cure that does not involve incantations or magic, but which does I believe tap deep into the power of nature itself to bring healing".

"And what is this cure?"

"There is a tree – hundreds of years old if the legends are true, and the only one of its kind. It is known in the druid tongue as the Ysarillion Tree. According to their writings, its leaves can bring healing when a woman's childlessness has been caused by magic, if those leaves are picked by the husband's hands".

"And there is only one such tree?"

"Yes, my Lord"

"And where will I find it?".

It was only at this moment that Gaius paused before speaking again.

"It grows in the Vale of Ishatar, my Lord".

Merlin watched Arthur, as once again the implications of what Gaius had said sank in, and the king completed the words for Gaius: "In Lot's kingdom".

Merlin anxiously waited to see what Arthur's reaction would be, but after several seconds of further silence, Arthur suddenly rose to his feet, and said in what they both could tell was a slightly choked voice, "I can't talk about this now and Guinevere must not know anything of this". And with that he turned his back on them and walked straight out of the room without a further word.

Gaius and Merlin remained staring at the door for several seconds, neither of them saying a thing, before turning back to face each other and the matter that deeply concerned both of them. Gaius was the first to speak.

"What's he going to do, do you think?"

"I really don't know".

"Albion needs an assured succession if it is to become firmly established"

"I know. I'll do all I can, but it's not going to be straightforward"

They sat in silence for a moment before continuing, both very aware of the solemn word that Arthur had given to Lot.

"Arthur is a man of principle and will hold to what he believes to be right, even if it's at great personal cost"

Merlin sighed. "You don't need to tell me that. I've seen him put his head on an executioner's block just to keep his word."

After a moment, Merlin continued with bitterness in his voice, "You may not have any proof, but this has Morgana written all over it. Ever since you told me I've been thinking about it. If she had simply killed Gwen along with the child, Arthur would eventually have found himself another queen who would have borne him an heir in time. But Morgana knows Arthur too well. If Gwen is left unable to bear children, Arthur would never dream of being unfaithful to her to produce an heir, and she knows that he wouldn't resort to magic either." He paused, shaking his head. "How could she have turned into someone so cruel, Gaius?"

But Gaius, of course, had no answer, and again the two of them fell silent. Once again it was the older man who eventually spoke first.

"And Arthur – have you any more idea how he's coping with it all?"

Merlin sighed again. "I don't think he's giving himself any time to grieve. I think he sees it as his duty to carry on as if nothing has happened. He's hardly given himself any break, and what we've just told him isn't going to help".

"Well, you know what duty means to Arthur – he will always put Camelot before his own needs."

"And when he's not fulfilling his duties, he's at Gwen's side supporting her. And he hasn't spoken properly to me since it happened. I'm really concerned for him, Gaius. I just don't think he should be carrying on like this".

"I think I share your concerns, Merlin. Keep a close watch on him, as far as you are able"

But both Merlin and Gaius would have been even more concerned had they seen Arthur a few moments after he'd left them. He stood facing the wall in one of the dark corners of a deserted Camelot corridor, with his right arm resting against the cold stone, and his head down upon his arm. He was breathing rapidly and unevenly, and was taking in large gulps of air as he tried desperately to regain control of himself and to bury his feelings once more. And if Morgana had also seen Arthur at that moment, she would undoubtedly have been delighted that her handiwork had had the desired effect and brought Arthur lower than he'd ever been before.

Arthur looked up suddenly as he heard the sound of feet approaching, and a momentary look of fear crossed his face at the thought of being discovered in the state he was in by one of his subjects. With another monumental effort, he managed to compose himself before it was too late and began walking down the corridor again, just as one of the courtiers came around the next corner. Arthur nodded curtly to acknowledge him before going on to continue his duties and perform a knighting ceremony later that evening.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Merlin awoke during the night. He lay in the darkness for a while staring at the ceiling. But he felt agitated and something compelled him to get up, as if he had to be somewhere doing something, even if he had no idea what or where. He flung on some clothes, and crept quietly past Gaius and out into the corridor outside, where he stood for several moments, wondering what to do. The most logical thing seemed to be to check on Arthur, and so he did. The guards outside the royal chambers let him in without question: he was the only person in Camelot who had that access to the king. He walked silently across to Arthur and Guinevere's bed , but even in the dark, he could still see by the light of the moon that on Arthur's side of the bed, the covers had been pulled back and the king wasn't there.

Merlin, of course, thought it stupid that the guards hadn't mentioned to him on his way in that Arthur had gone out. They were, however, able to tell him that it had been within the last half hour that Arthur had left the room, ordering them to stay guarding the room where Gwen slept rather than accompanying him, but they were completely unable to tell him where the king had gone. Merlin looked in all the obvious places to start with: the throne room, the council chambers, the armoury (though why Arthur would have been there in the dead of night was a question that hadn't particularly occurred to him). He then looked in the kitchens, wondering if Arthur had finally regained his appetite and was simply looking for something to eat, and even looked in the library just in case Arthur had decided to get a book to read if he had been unable to sleep, although as Arthur had never really been a great reader, Merlin had to admit to himself that he was beginning to clutch at straws. Merlin then began checking every other room that wasn't a bedroom, and even returned to Arthur's chambers a couple of times to check whether he had missed Arthur and he was simply already back in bed.

When he had spent an hour looking for Arthur and still hadn't found him, Merlin began to be concerned for the king's safety. The only comfort he took was from the fact that each guard who stood by a door to the outside reported that they had not seen the king. Arthur therefore had to be in the citadel somewhere. Finally, and somewhat reluctantly, Merlin decided to go down to the one place he could think of that he hadn't yet checked – the crypt. He had only been there twice before, and wasn't particularly keen on being there for a third time in the dead of night. He spoke the usual words of magic that ignited a fire in the palm of his hand as he descended the steps to the crypt, but as he approached the entrance, he noticed that one of the two torches placed by the entrance was missing. As he entered the crypt he saw the figure of a man in the centre of the vaulted hall, silhouetted against the light of a torch, with his two arms outstretched, leaning his weight against one of the tombs, and Merlin knew immediately it was Arthur.

He quickly extinguished the light in his own hand, and walked quietly over to where the king was. But too quietly, as Arthur remained completely oblivious to his approach until Merlin was virtually upon him. Arthur was suddenly startled and let out a loud cry, and he whirled round reaching for the sword at his side that wasn't there. It only took him a split second, however, to recognise who it was, and Arthur's response was loud and animated.

"What the hell are you doing here, Merlin?! Trying to give me a heart attack?"

Merlin's response on his part was straight and to the point. "Oh, I don't know…looking for a king wandering round dark, deserted places in the castle in the middle of the night, unarmed and dressed only in his bedclothes?"

The tone of gentle rebuke wasn't lost on Arthur. Merlin was the only one (apart from his wife) who would dare to speak to him like that - and was the only one from whom Arthur would take it. The fact that Merlin was Arthur's confidante, friend and advisor was unspoken but acknowledged by all in the Court. He was the one the king would listen to above all others, and in this instance, there was something approaching a smile on Arthur's face at his servant's words.

Merlin noticed immediately that the tomb closest to Arthur, on which his hands had been resting, was that of Uther, the one right next to it being that of Ygraine. Arthur sighed deeply and turned back to face the tomb. Merlin, standing next to Arthur, could now see his friend's face illuminated in the light of the torch which Arthur had placed in one of the holders on the wall. Arthur's brow was furrowed and even in the dim light, Merlin could see the signs of an inner struggle etched upon his face. Not for the first time in his life he said quite simply to his friend, "I don't know what to do, Merlin". After a pause that Merlin decided not to fill, Arthur continued. "I can't break the word I gave to Lot, but I cannot leave Gwen without the hope of children."

"You want them too, Arthur."

"More than I'd realised. But how can I sacrifice my integrity in order to have the children we both so desperately want?"

"But Arthur – this isn't just about your own feelings and wants. There's the succession and Camelot's stability to be thought of".

"Yes, but how can I go against my conscience?"

"I'll go instead of you".

"No, you heard what Gaius said – it's got to be my hand that picks the leaves. And anyway, how is me sending you any different from me going myself? Besides, you'd only get yourself killed."

"I could take some of the knights with me….."

"No, Merlin! You're not listening to me. It's not going to make any difference whether you go alone or with the whole army. It has to be ME and I've given my word to Lot that I won't cross his border"

Merlin decided to try a slightly different tactic.

"Do you really think Lot cares about whether you keep your word or not? Arthur, he's already broken his promises numerous times."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I should do the same thing."

"What if Lot were somehow involved with Morgana?"

"We don't know that."

Merlin tried again.

"Are you attacking his kingdom?"

"No."

"Are you plotting against him?"

"No."

"Are you spying on him?"

"No."

Arthur was beginning to get exasperated with Merlin, and Merlin could hear it even in his single word answers. So Merlin spoke more gently and quietly when he continued with his line of questioning: "Would you go if Gwen's life was in danger and her life depended upon it?"

"Yes, but it's not."

"Would you go if someone else's life depended on it?"

"Yes, but that's totally irrelevant. Merlin, what IS your point?"

"Why should you bind yourself to a promise you made for one situation when you are in a completely different situation and other more important issues are at stake? Arthur – you gave your word to Lot as the King of Camelot in a dispute over territory. You would not be breaking that word you made as King. You would be going into his territory as a husband seeking a cure for his wife."

Just when Merlin thought he'd finally won the argument, Arthur returned to the one thing that seem to remain as an immovable obstacle in his mind: "But I've never broken my word."

Arthur's integrity was so deeply ingrained in him that it seemed almost impossible to get him to act in a way that betrayed that sense of honour. He leaned forward, rested his elbows on his father's tomb and he put his head in hands, and sighed deeply: "I can't think about it anymore at the moment".

By the end of their conversation, Arthur's mind was no clearer as to how could resolve the irresolvable. But Merlin, on the other hand, had had an idea whilst they were talking, and had also in the course of their conversation found out exactly what he needed to know if he was going to put it into action. As they began walking back to the crypt entrance, a question suddenly arose in Arthur's mind.

"By the way, what on earth made you come looking for me?"

Merlin genuinely had no answer for this.

"I dunno - sixth sense?"

"Sense and you are not two words I normally associate in the same sentence"

A smile came to Merlin's face: "Ha ha. That's so not true, it's not even funny!"

Merlin was heartened by this light-hearted exchange, but any lightening of Arthur's mood was short lived, and as they walked along he realised that deep sadness had quickly descended upon Arthur once more.

Whilst the deep weariness caused by grief meant that when Arthur was back laying alongside Gwen, he quickly slipped into a deep but troubled sleep, Merlin lay on his own bed, wide awake, his mind fully active. He understood well the pain of childlessness. He remembered a couple from Ealdor who had been unable to have children - a kind, elderly couple, but there was always a sadness that hung over them both. Although they loved children and welcomed them into their house with open arms, Merlin well remembered the pain that he often saw in their eyes whenever a mother cradled a new baby in her arms. And his heart went out to Arthur and Guinevere. But if that was not reason enough in itself to act, there was the greater concern for the kingdom of Albion that Arthur would establish. As Merlin and Gaius had already noted, it needed the stability that an heir brought if it was to survive, and not be like a candle in the wind, that would go out as swiftly as it was lit. And Merlin shuddered as he remembered the great Dragon's words about Mordred, and how he would ultimately be the cause of Arthur's doom. Merlin knew he must act and act straight away, even if meant putting his own friendship with Arthur at terrible risk.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The sun was already reasonably high in the sky when Guinevere shook Arthur to wake him up.

She had been awake for a little while and had been pleased to find Arthur asleep, knowing nothing of his nocturnal wanderings. Although her loss had been great, and her immense grief constantly threatened to overwhelm her, it had not made her oblivious to Arthur's pain, and it had added to her grief to see the one she loved more than any other trying, in his time of weakness, to still bear upon his shoulders the weight of the responsibility of the kingdom, and she could see how it was almost crushing him. He would not speak of it, however, insisting all the time that her need was greater than his, but she couldn't help noticing how, as each day went by, the dark shadows under his eyes became more pronounced and his weariness seemed to increase. She shook him again, and he gradually came awake, yawning and stretching as he did. It was a moment she knew so well - that tiny moment when she first awoke, when all seemed normal, until the memory of the nightmare they were in came flooding back and all joy at the new day was extinguished.

Arthur, as soon as he saw his wife, remembered all that had happened, and remembered immediately all that had been spoken of the previous evening, of which Guinevere still knew nothing, and he had to quickly turn away from Gwen as his heart broke afresh. He suddenly also noticed how light it was in the room, and asked in a tone that was considerably sharper than he'd intended, "Where on earth is Merlin?" But the answer to his own question seemed obvious to him: Merlin had clearly overslept, as he himself had done, due to both of them being up for a considerable portion of the night.

Arthur jumped out of the bed rapidly, and pulled on the shirt that he had discarded late the previous evening after the knighting ceremony. Guinevere's influence at least meant that it was hanging over the back of a chair, rather than lying crumpled on the floor as it would have done previously. Arthur stuck his head outside the door and ordered the guards to fetch Merlin immediately, and Gwen was saddened to hear the anger in Arthur's tone creep in so quickly that morning.

When neither Merlin nor breakfast had appeared a quarter of an hour later, Arthur dressed himself, clearly by now in a very bad mood, and strode out of his quarters towards the council chambers, sending orders for Rowena to bring breakfast for Gwen to their room. By the time Arthur got to the Round Table for their regular meeting, it was clear that everyone had been waiting for him for a considerable time. No one was seated yet, but everyone was standing around talking in groups. Arthur called for a goblet of water for himself from a servant, and then immediately went over to Gaius. "Can you explain to me why my good for nothing servant is still in bed at this time of the morning?" Gaius noticed the lack of any humour in Arthur's question.

"In bed, my Lord? He certainly isn't there. I'd assumed that he was already with you when I found his bed empty this morning."

Arthur was too occupied at that point with being late for the Council to think any more about the whereabouts of Merlin. He turned away from Gaius, took the goblet of water that was given to him, and went to take his seat at the table, the cue for all the other Council members to do the same. It was only when they were all seated that the unoccupied place at the table became obvious.

"Where's Elyan?"

It was Percival, unaware of Arthur's exchange with Gaius, who answered the king's question.

"I couldn't find him this morning, Sire. When I asked around, the guards at the gate told me he'd ridden out at first light with Merlin. I assumed they must be going somewhere at your command." Arthur stared at Percival for several moments, wondering what on earth they were doing that was so urgent or important that it required them to blatantly ignore their duties and not request his permission to do so. And then the penny dropped.

The force with which Arthur slammed his goblet down on the table stunned everyone in the room.

"Damn him!"

Arthur turned an accusing look on Gaius. "And did you encourage him to do this, Gaius?"

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, your majesty".

"I'm talking about the fact that my servant and one of my knights are, as we talk, riding towards the border with Lot's kingdom with the intention of crossing that border in direct defiance of my command".

A murmur of shock went around the table, but the expressions on the faces of some there clearly showed that not everyone believed what Arthur was telling them.

Leon spoke up, "But that would be a suicide mission….."

"Exactly"

The anger in his voice was abundantly clear, but his response still left everyone at the table utterly mystified at what they were hearing, apart from Gaius who had by now also realised the reasons for Merlin's actions.

One of the older Council members asked the question that was on everybody's mind, "Why on earth would they even think of doing that, my Lord?"

Arthur's eyes were blazing by the time he said the next words: "To force my hand".

Arthur remembered all too well Merlin's questions from the night before, getting him to admit that he would cross the border if lives were at stake. And Merlin had chosen to put not only his own life at stake but Elyan's too. Arthur didn't think for one moment that Elyan had gone anything other than willingly and in full knowledge of why they were going. He would have been easy to persuade to be part of Merlin's plan, because Guinevere was his sister and he would do anything for her, and he would believe, with Merlin's reasoning, that he was also acting for the king. Arthur was furious at being forced into a particular course of action by his servant, and even more so at the prospect of being forced to break his word. But there was also, for another reason, a far greater anger burning inside him.

"I'm going to kill him!"

There were those in the Council who, by the tone of Arthur's voice, thought that that was exactly what he was going to do. Arthur rose from the table without a further word to the Council, leaving all of them still mystified as to what was going on. He swiftly issued instructions to his knights so that they could depart within the half hour, and strode towards the door. But before he could leave, he was stopped by an encounter with Gaius.

"May I ask, Sire, what you are actually going to do?"

"If I catch up with them before they've crossed the border, I'll stop them and they'll both find themselves in the dungeon before nightfall.

"And if they've crossed into Lot's kingdom?"

Arthur had been looking Gaius in the eyes, but suddenly looked away. In his blind anger he had temporarily forgotten until that moment the recent event that lay behind everything that was happening. And he walked abruptly out of the council chambers, leaving Gaius' question unanswered.

Arthur returned to see Guinevere before he departed, although not before stopping Leon with a further request along the way. Arthur buried his anger as he had done with his grief, before going in to say goodbye to his wife.

"Guinevere, my love, I have to leave for a few days".

"Where are you going?"

"We need to make a visit to one of the neighbouring kingdoms, but we won't be gone long"

Gwen, who knew Arthur too well by now, could see that he wasn't telling her the full story, and knew he was trying not to worry her.

"You're going somewhere dangerous, aren't you?"

"We'll be fine. Don't worry"

But Arthur's assurances did nothing to quell her anxiety and she began to beg him not to go, with the words "I can't lose you as well, Arthur!"

It broke Arthur's heart yet again to see his wife beginning to cry, and he wrapped his arms around her and held her close for a few moments. As he laid his head upon hers he simply said, "I have to go."

When she was able to look up at him once again, he continued.

"I've arranged for Lady Clare to stay with you whilst I'm gone. She'll have a bed in here, so you won't need to be alone at all"

Clare was Leon's sister, and Gwen had known her all her life, as they'd practically grown up together when Gwen's mother served in their house. Clare was sweet-natured, and had become a good and close friend to Gwen since she had become queen, and had been officially made a lady in waiting, a position within the Court that had not existed since the time of Ygraine. Gwen and Clare had shared many happy times together when Arthur was taken up with court affairs, and he knew she and Rowena together would take good care of his wife whilst he was gone.

But as Gwen looked at her husband's face, she could tell that there was something Arthur was hiding.

"What are you not telling me, Arthur?"

Arthur hesitated, but then asked her, "Do you trust me?"

Guinevere didn't answer, but simply gave a little nod, not taking her eyes off him. And for once, she couldn't read his expression. He simply said, "There's something I need to put right".

And with that, he kissed her again on the forehead, and walked over to the door and out.

But he found Gaius waiting for him in the corridor, with a small scrappy piece of parchment in his hand.

"I thought you might want to see this, Sire"

"What is it?"

Gaius didn't answer but simply handed the scrap of parchment to him. Arthur took a quick look at it, and could immediately see that it was notes that Merlin had made about the route to the Vale of Ishatar. And both Gaius and Arthur knew that he'd left it where it could be found so that Arthur could follow him. It didn't make the king any less hostile towards his servant, however – if anything the opposite, knowing that Merlin was manipulating his every step. And when Arthur said to Gaius as he left him, "You'd better pray that I have some mercy left in me when I find him", the physician knew that Arthur was being deadly serious.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

With Merlin's notes, it was easy to follow the path that he and Elyan had followed. And although each of the three knights galloping at speed with Arthur would have followed him anywhere without needing a reason, such was their complete trust in him, each was still left wondering what on earth was going on, as Arthur had not given them any further explanation. As Arthur expected, the four of them had not caught up with the other two by the time they got to the border, and when they reached it, much to the surprise of Leon, Percival and Gwaine, Arthur hardly seemed to slow his horse as they crossed the Caradon. Arthur was confident, however, of catching up with Merlin and Elyan before they had gone too far into Lot's kingdom, knowing that he had the better and faster horsemen with him, and guessing that Merlin wouldn't travel after darkness had fallen. And with nothing more than his own thoughts to occupy him during the hard ride, Arthur kept returning in his mind to what Merlin had done – and was doing – and as he did so, the more the rage within him grew.

Arthur and his party had slowed their horses to not much more than a fast walk as dusk fell, not wanting to miss the other two in the dark. And sure enough, around two hours after night-fall, they came across two horses tethered up, the remnants of a small fire, and both Merlin and Elyan fast asleep, although as Merlin was sitting with his back to a tree, it was clear to Arthur that he was meant to be keeping watch. Arthur drew his sword as he approached Merlin and held it so that it's tip rested on Merlin's sleeping chest. A small nod to Leon indicated that he was to do the same to Elyan.

"Wake up!", and with that Arthur prodded the tip of his sword sharply into Merlin's chest. Leon did the same to Elyan, so that the two of them found themselves suddenly awake but pinned and not able to move. Merlin who was indeed meant to be on watch, but who had fallen asleep because of being up most of the previous night, found himself staring at the face of his livid master, who, without moving his sword, turned his head towards Elyan and snapped "Are you both trying to get yourself killed?"

And before saying anything else, Arthur removed his sword from Merlin's chest, leaned down, grabbed him by his jacket and pulled him roughly to his feet.

Merlin knew that Arthur would be far from pleased, but he wasn't prepared for what followed. Arthur had been angry with him plenty of times before, sometimes even furious, but this was something far more dangerous. As Arthur stood with his sword still grasped tightly in his hand, Merlin saw not just fury in Arthur's eyes – but rage bordering on hatred, and Arthur didn't hold back. He almost shouted his first words to Merlin: "ON YOUR KNEES!", and Merlin, in shock as much as anything, complied immediately. He suddenly became acutely aware of something that he was usually oblivious of: Arthur was the king, with absolute authority, whereas he, for all his gifts and powers, was just a servant, a subject of Camelot, and under Arthur's rule. And Merlin knew he'd crossed a line that he shouldn't have.

"What the HELL are you playing at?" Arthur spat out the words, and held Merlin's gaze, his eyes flashing dangerously. It wasn't the first time Arthur had asked that question, but this time there was something very menacing in his tone. Without waiting for an answer, Arthur continued: "I really don't care if you go ahead and get yourself killed, but did you have ANY thought about what it would do to Guinevere if Elyan was killed because of your wilful contempt for my orders?"

Merlin suddenly realised, with dismay, that that thought had never even entered his head. He'd been keen to recruit Elyan for his plan, knowing that it would remove any doubt in Arthur's mind as to whether he should follow him. And Merlin was suddenly filled with a sense of shame as he realised that he'd simply assumed it would all work out as he'd planned, without any consideration of how the grieving couple would see it or how it would affect Guinevere if it went wrong, and he dropped his eyes and fixed them on the ground. But Arthur continued, without waiting for Merlin to defend himself, and his voice rose in anger as he spoke.

"It's bad enough that you have shown complete contempt for my honour and the word I solemnly gave to our enemies, but words almost fail me when I think of your disregard for the queen. You of all people know what my wife has been through in the past few days - you've seen her heartbreak and her devastation firsthand. I left her this morning _worrying_ for my safety – I couldn't even tell her where I was going, let alone tell her that I was riding out because her brother's life was being put at terrible risk. And yet you, without a thought for her welfare, recklessly embarked upon a course of action that could have destroyed her completely. How dare you, Merlin? How DARE you!"

Merlin had the sickening realisation that he was facing not only Arthur the king, whose word he had forced to be broken, but also Arthur the husband, whose wife's well-being he had put in jeopardy, and Arthur's tone was so severe that for the first time since they'd met all those years ago, he was actually scared of Arthur. And he knelt before the king, shaking, and keeping his eyes on the ground. When Arthur spoke again, his voice was still deadly serious: "I could have you sent you back to Camelot, thrown in the dungeons and then executed for your recklessness and complete disregard both for my explicit word and for my wife's welfare when you brought Elyan along"

It was at this point that Elyan spoke up: "I came freely, Sire. Merlin should not bear the blame for this alone". Arthur's wrath subsided only marginally, as he turned his eyes on Elyan and said sternly. "You should have known better".

There was a moment's pause, and Arthur turned his attention back to Merlin and asked harshly: "What have you got to say for yourself?"

It was at this point that Arthur noticed that Merlin was shaking.

Without looking up, Merlin wiped his sleeve across his face, and replied in a choked voice: "I only wanted to help you but I was stupid. I am so sorry, my Lord. You know I'd never do anything to deliberately hurt you or Guinevere. Please forgive me, Sire".

As Arthur, still breathing heavily from his anger, stood looking at his servant - the one he'd called a friend for so long - he could see Merlin's deep distress and contrition, and that both were genuine, and he knew that he was telling the truth. And there was also a tiny voice that was not entirely obliterated by his anger that told Arthur that his friend was once again putting his life on the line for him and had been acting, albeit misguidedly, to help him and Guinevere have what they so desperately wanted. Merlin finally looked up again, needing to know whether he was forgiven. Their eyes met and it felt to Merlin as if their friendship and the fate of the whole of Camelot hung in the balance. A few moments of silence passed and then the king softened.

"Very well. Get up." Arthur's response was curt but the fury had gone out of his voice.

"Sometimes I wonder who's running the kingdom – me or my servant?"

And everyone there knew that those words were not said in jest.

"We'll rest here for the rest of the night, and then ride on to the Vale of Ishatar at first light".

Arthur's knights looked shocked at his suggestion, as none of them knew yet why they were there, other than to find Merlin and Elyan. Arthur caught their expressions, and knew that he had to give at least some explanation as to what was happening, but he didn't trust himself to say too much, and avoided their gaze as he spoke his next words.

"We go there to find a cure for Guinevere". He paused and as he did so, his head lowered. "Without it she'll never have children".

The looks that Leon, Percival and Gwaine exchanged indicated that all of them were not only shocked but felt deeply for Arthur and his predicament, and they all understood, at least in some measure, why Merlin and Elyan had risked their lives as they'd done, to force Arthur into Lot's territory. But before the knights had a chance to respond, Arthur looked up and added "I'll take the first watch", and began to move away from the group. Leon, however, spoke up. "Sire, your need of rest is greater than ours. We'll cover the watches between us". But Arthur repeated his words "I'll take the first watch" with an added tone of insistence, and they knew not to argue.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Merlin tossed under his thin blanket. The ground was hard, but that wasn't the reason he couldn't sleep. He knew that Arthur would be awake, and Merlin wanted to somehow make things better between himself and the king. So he rolled back the blanket, got to his feet, and headed over to where Arthur's figure was silhouetted in the darkness. What he didn't know was that Arthur had also been craving his company. The words the Kilgarrah had spoken so long ago still held true for them: a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole.

Arthur didn't move as he saw Merlin approach, and he waited for his friend to speak.

"I'm so sorry Arthur. I was an idiot. I just wanted to help. I just know how badly you and Gwen….". His voice trailed off slightly before he added the last words "…. wanted children".

"You don't need to apologise again. You've already said sorry, and I know you meant it."

Arthur paused. "And I know I haven't been very easy to live with since we….." (again the words "lost Thomas" seemed too hard to say) "….since it happened. I'm sorry."

"Arthur – you're not the one who needs to apologise."

It was Merlin who paused this time before continuing, and he decided to take a risk: "Do you want to talk about it?"

Arthur shook his head, and looked away, as if he didn't trust himself to speak, or even look at Merlin, at that point. A few moments of silence passed between them. He looked at Arthur again, and it seemed to him that Arthur was only just managing to remain in control. He still couldn't look at Merlin, or properly answer his question. But then he said it: "I'm scared to, Merlin".

Merlin didn't push him but just waited to see if Arthur would take it further. But when Arthur spoke again, still looking away, it wasn't much more than a choked whisper. "I don't know what will happen if I do".

Merlin knew that for the second time in just a few hours he was seeing something in Arthur that he'd never seen before – but this time it was Arthur being completely open with him and sharing his weakness at a far deeper level than he'd ever done. He also realised how close to the edge Arthur was. He answered the king's comment in a gentle tone: "Does that matter?"

It took Arthur a moment or two to compose himself enough to reply: "As king, I can't afford to take that risk." After that he spoke no more. And Merlin understood: it was duty again.

So Merlin just sat with Arthur, with neither of them saying a word, but each grateful for the company of the other. Merlin, tired as he was from the previous night's wanderings, soon slipped back into sleep now that he felt at ease with Arthur again. But as Merlin slept Arthur tried, as best as he could, to reinforce the defences in his mind and heart behind which he could hide his heartache: the awful sensation of falling, falling, ever deeper with nothing to hold on to; his fear that he wouldn't be able to keep going as king and the deeper fear that he was going mad; the guilt that gnawed away at his soul, telling him that he should have protected Guinevere - that he should have protected Thomas – better, and that he was somehow responsible for all that had happened; and the simple truth that when he had finally looked upon his son and held his lifeless form in his arms, his world had fallen apart.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Arthur never woke any of the others during the night to relieve his watch. He knew that sleep was evading him, and didn't see the point in waking one of the others to take over from him whilst he remained wide awake. But when he shook each of the others at first light to get them up, and they realised that he'd been on watch all night, they shared the same unspoken concern for his welfare, communicated between them by the looks they cast to one other and towards Arthur. And it was only because Arthur knew they were watching him that he forced himself to eat food that he didn't really want.

The ride through Lot's kingdom became a more cautious one than the previous day's urgent ride. The last thing they wanted was to be seen by any of Lot's soldiers, but Arthur was better than anyone at knowing how to evade detection in enemy territory, and so despite their slower speed, they made good progress up through wooded country towards the Vale of Ishatar, which they knew lay over the top of a ridge that was now not very far ahead of them. But to reach the ridge they had to ascend through a small, shallow ravine, that was perfectly easy to walk up, but not so for a horse. And so they all left their mounts tethered out of sight near the bottom of it, knowing that their destination was probably only half an hour's walk away. And so they went up the ravine on foot, but it was as they did so that the unthinkable happened.

They all heard the unmistakable sound of an arrow whistling through the air, followed a split second later by the thud of it embedding itself in a tree next to Gwaine. There was no point in stealth any longer, so Arthur shouted, "Take cover" just as two further arrows came flying towards them from soldiers who were quite clearly positioned somewhere above them, on the tops of the sides of the ravine. One of the arrows hit rock and bounced harmlessly off, but the other one found it's target, near Elyan's shoulder, causing him to fall backwards to the ground. Arthur and Merlin together pulled him behind a tree which gave some cover, and Arthur again put his own life at risk as he shielded Elyan with his body as Merlin quickly removed the arrow from Elyan and stuffed his scarf under Elyan's mail in an attempt to stem the flow of blood.

Although each of the knights was carrying a sword as usual, they were completely ineffective against enemies with crossbows who were out of reach. Arthur hissed to the others, "We must have stumbled into one of Lot's patrols", and he was just about to suggest that they held their cover and forced what he assumed to be a handful of soldiers to come to them so that they could engage them with their swords, when he heard voices – a considerably greater number than they were - shouting, a little way up the ravine, and it was clear that they were coming down towards them. The only hope of escape seemed to be back down the ravine that they had just come up. "Quick, we need to get out of here", and Arthur nodded with his head towards the path down. Arthur and Merlin went to put their arms around Elyan's torso so that they could support him, but Elyan had other ideas:

"Leave me, Arthur – I'll only slow you down. Save yourselves"

Arthur's response was swift: "Guinevere's not going to lose you."

"Better to lose her brother than to lose her husband – go, Arthur!"

Arthur was grim but firm: "She's not going to lose either of us."

But despite Arthur's words, the likelihood of that seemed to be suddenly dashed when they not only heard the cries of the soldiers on the ground above them, but also heard other voices also calling out from further down the track. Arthur realised with horror that they were not only hopelessly outnumbered, but also utterly trapped, and that their swords against crossbows (when their opponents had the time and opportunity to reload them) made for an even more deadly inequality.

Merlin was thinking fast, and unseen to the others in the chaos his eyes flashed gold and he whispered the words that summoned mist that rolled down the ravine, enveloping the soldiers above them and slowing them down. It would have been pointless plunging themselves into mist by summoning it in both directions, but Merlin figured that if they had only one set of soldiers to deal with at once, that would give them a better chance. And he came up with what he thought was the perfect reason for the sudden and inexplicable appearance of the mist. "They're using sorcery to hide themselves as they advance".

Arthur accepted Merlin's explanation, even if it didn't make total sense – he trusted him so completely. Arthur responded quickly – "Yes, but they can't see us easily either. There was what looked to be an entrance to a cave about 50 paces back – it's probably our only hope". Merlin, not for the first time, marvelled at Arthur's military brilliance. Not much escaped his attention when he was in a battle or in hostile territory. As they started to move, Gwaine muttered, "If we go in there, we'll be trapped ".

"We already are" was Leon's grim reply.

But Arthur's mind was focused and his resolve had never been stronger. "We are NOT going to die here today. Whatever it takes, I am not going to let that happen!", although at that moment Arthur had no real idea of exactly how they were going to come out of their dire situation alive.

The voices from below were getting closer, but as they reached the cave and Arthur and the others started taking Elyan inside, Merlin suddenly took off down hill, with a backwards cry of "I'm just going to see what's happening", not waiting for a response, and before Arthur realised fully what he was doing, he'd disappeared out of sight. Merlin had reckoned that if he didn't give Arthur an opportunity to command him to come back, he couldn't be accused again of disobeying Arthur's word. And just as Merlin had marvelled at Arthur's observation, Arthur now marvelled at Merlin's bravery which frequently seemed to border on gross stupidity, although those feelings were almost immediately swamped by a very real anxiety for his servant's safety.

Merlin all too rapidly found out exactly what was going on when he ran almost headlong into around thirty of Lot's soldiers coming uphill. As the inevitable arrows were shot towards him, Merlin once again employed his ability to slow the world around him down, enabling him on this occasion to dodge not one, but four arrows. As time continued to run slow, Merlin's mind raced. There were too many, too close to him and too spread out for his usual spells to be effective on all of them at once. But then inspiration came that was either sheer genius or sheer lunacy, and he wasn't sure which it was, but in the absence of any other ideas he decided to give it all he had. As Merlin went back into the normal flow of time again, he shouted out an incantation that he had only used once before and then, only on one person: "Mod wes craeftleas!"

The effect was immediate. All of Lot's men lowered their weapons and stared at him, each with a slightly vacant expression on their faces. The spell that Merlin had once used on Arthur to control his will had, much to Merlin's delight, worked on thirty people all at once. Merlin stood for a moment, looking rather pleased with himself and giving a grin of satisfaction at the prospect of now having his own private army to command. And with that he issued his order to them to now fight against the men who were coming down the ravine towards them. And with that Merlin led them upwards, slipping into the cave where Arthur and the others were hiding, and leaving one group of Lot's soldiers to cause both the confusion and the complete devastation of the other group who were coming towards them.

He found the others hidden a little way back into the cave. Even in the dim light he could see that Arthur's face was etched with concern, not only for him but for what seemed like their hopeless predicament. Merlin crouched down next to him, whispering as he did.

"We seem to have wandered into a skirmish between Lot's men and Odin's men"

"Really?" Arthur showed his genuine puzzlement this time, at what seemed to be an unlikely but unbelievably fortuitous turn of events.

"We just need to lie low for a while and with any luck they'll take care of each other" Merlin continued.

And Merlin's words were, of course, soon proved to be true.

When the sounds of fighting had finally died down, Arthur and Merlin crept towards the entrance of the cave and looked out. There were no more voices or sounds of movement, only the very obvious evidence of what appeared to be the total demise of every one of Lot's troops.

"Strange that not one single one of Odin's troops fell."

Merlin nodded in agreement, "It was probably the mist."

Once again, Merlin's reply made no real sense, but Arthur didn't care. He shook his head, hardly daring to believe that, against all the odds, they had emerged from this latest peril largely unscathed. He gave a sigh of relief, and a little smile came to his face as he said to Merlin, "I thought we were done for". But Merlin then watched the smile fade, as the remembrance of the reason they were on this mission flooded back into Arthur's mind, now that the danger had passed.

Although it was slower to take Elyan with them, Arthur insisted that he wouldn't leave Elyan in the cave until they came back. And so they continued together on foot the last mile or so to the Vale of Ishatar. It then didn't take long to cover the short distance to the clearing where the tree that would bring Gwen's healing grew. But as they finally reached the edge of the clearing, three things happened for Merlin almost simultaneously. Firstly, there was the truly awful cry of anguish that came from Arthur, and then a split second later, the reason for it, as Merlin too saw the blackened stump of the Ysarillion tree, not blackened from age or disease but from having been deliberately set alight, and that so recently that a few wisps of smoke were still rising from what had earlier that day been a living tree. They had missed their goal by the smallest number of hours. The third and final thing was Merlin's sickening realisation that this had been Morgana's plan all along – she too had known of the cure for Gwen's condition, and known that Arthur would come, and the attack that they had only just survived had been no chance encounter but rather a planned ambush. Merlin, however, had no time to reflect on this latest revelation, as a new and grave crisis now confronted him.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

It was as if something had finally snapped within Arthur. Merlin heard the characteristic sound of metal on metal as Arthur drew his sword out, and with a loud cry of "NO!" he was now taking out his anger at the unfairness of it all by a violent attack on anything and everything his sword could reach. The knights all wondered if some form of madness had seized the king and whether they should attempt to restrain him. But the wild and unpredictable arcs that Excalibur swung in meant that any such attempt would probably result in serious injury if not death. So they stood at safe distance and let him continue his frenzied outburst.

It was fortunate that the blade forged in the dragon's breath made it stronger than any other sword, otherwise it would almost certainly have either shattered, broken or been ruined in the ferocity of Arthur's assault on rocks as well as trees, as Arthur relentlessly channelled his bitterness into his sword. And Merlin could only stand and look on, powerless to help.

When Arthur's anger and frustration had finally been vented, he stood with his chest heaving and his head hung low, with Excalibur hanging limply down at his side. The knights still didn't move, looking uneasily at one another, not sure how to respond. Merlin, however, moved quietly over to the king, and took the sword from his hand, thrusting it down into the soft ground, so that it stood on its own, glinting in the sunlight that was filtering down through the trees. Merlin laid his hand gently on Arthur's shoulder. He knew it was a stupid question, but at that moment he couldn't think of anything else to say: "Are you alright, Sire?".

The gentleness of Merlin's touch and the kindness in his voice was all that it took for Arthur's flimsy defences to finally crumble. He had nothing left in him to hold back the huge wave of his emotions any more, and the young king simply rested his forehead on his friend's shoulder and wept like he had never wept before, for once he had started weeping he found that he couldn't stop. He wept for all the pain that sorcery had brought over the years: for the way it had taken both his mother and his father from him; for the heartbreak caused by the betrayals of his sister and uncle whom he had loved and trusted; for the undeserved hatred that Morgana continued to pour out on him; for the misery that sorcery had brought on his land and his people and for the many men he'd lost in the fight against it; but he wept with the greatest desolation and the deepest grief for the bitterest blow that sorcery had so recently wrought – the crushing of his long cherished dreams of a family of his own, and the further heartbreak that it would bring upon the one he loved the most, but above all, for the loss of what he now knew would be his only child. And Merlin simply laid his arm across Arthur's shoulders and let him weep.

The knights all shifted uncomfortably in the silence that was only broken by the sounds of Arthur's grief. It wasn't that they were embarrassed by his weeping. It was rather that they all felt like they were intruders – spectators on something intensely personal that should not have had to be on public display. It was for this reason and because of their great respect for Arthur that each of them averted their eyes, either turning their heads to one side or bowing them.

Arthur wept for a long time and until he felt utterly spent, and even after his weeping had finally subsided, Arthur did not move, but stood for a while, still with his head on Merlin's shoulder, breathing deeply and composing himself before finally looking up.

His eyes met Merlin's. It was possibly the first time that neither of them could think of anything to say to each other. So Arthur simply said, "Thank you, Merlin", and Merlin simply replied, "I'm so sorry, Arthur", and both knew that the words said by the other were heart-felt and genuine.

Arthur wasn't sure what reaction he would find as he finally turned to face his men. They had now seen him at his weakest and at his point of utter brokenness, and he feared that he might have lost their respect forever. It took him a few moments to find the courage to raise his eyes to meet theirs, but he found on each of their faces the same thing – only deep compassion and understanding.

Leon was the first to speak, and he chose his words carefully: "I'm sorry that our presence here meant that you could not have the privacy you deserved for your grief, my Lord. We will each treat it as if we had not been here, to intrude upon it. It will remain unspoken of by us".

Arthur was touched by the dignity that they gave to him and his grief, and responded with a deep gratitude in his heart. "That is kind of you. Thank you".

Everyone stood quietly for a few moments, unsure as to what to do next. Then Arthur drew himself up to his full height, looked around, and then spotted Excalibur. He walked purposefully over to it, drew out the sword and stood in silence for a moment, examining its blade, marvelling at it's condition.

"You know, Merlin, this really is an exceptional blade".

But it was Gwaine, not Merlin, who responded.

"…. For an exceptional king"

Their eyes met. Any of those gathered in the clearing could have said those words and meant them completely, but somehow coming from Gwaine that morning, they meant even more. He was, after all, the one with the least deference to royalty and the greatest disdain for all the privilege of nobility. Arthur held Gwaine's gaze for a few seconds, and then gave him a small nod, to both acknowledge his words and thank him for them. And Arthur knew suddenly in his heart that he could go on, and when he spoke again, even though his words were few, they all recognised immediately the tone of quiet but absolute authority they knew so well: "We're returning to Camelot".

As the knights started to walk back down to where they had left their horses, Arthur stayed where he was for a few moments, and Merlin stayed with him. There was a fresh resolve in the king's heart.

"I never fully understood my father's loathing for magic until now". And Arthur made a pledge to Merlin. It seemed most natural to make it to him, as Merlin would be the one who would most likely hold him to account on it. "I am never going to allow it to have any place in Camelot or to hurt my people, as far as it is in my power to do so". And just as one barrier had come down between them, Merlin felt that another one had been erected in its place, and this time it was Merlin's heart that was grieved, and his heartache that needed to be buried deep within him. Sharing his truth with Arthur seemed, as ever, to be slipping further away from him, and Merlin could only give a nod of agreement to Arthur that masked perfectly the secret that still needed to be kept hidden.

Arthur looked at the blackened tree once more and let out a deep sigh.

"You alright?"

Arthur replied simply with a small nod, before turning to face Merlin.

"You knew, didn't you, that I wouldn't be able to find any peace if I knew that there was a cure for Gwen and yet didn't come here?"

Merlin shrugged his shoulders and smiled at his friend, "It's what you pay me for".

Arthur gave a small laugh – the first Merlin had heard from him in days. "What would I do without you, Merlin?", and much to Merlin's surprise, he put his arm round Merlin's shoulders and gave him a friendly yank – "Come on" and with that they turned their backs on the clearing in the Vale of Ishatar and went to follow the others.

The return to the border was largely silent and was as swift as they could make it, with the limitations that Elyan's wound imposed, but even so, they only just reached it before nightfall. And as they crossed the Caradon once more, Merlin simply said to Arthur, "Lot will probably never know for sure you were here".

"Well, if that's the case, we have Odin's men to thank" and Merlin just smiled. And then Merlin looked his friend in the eye, conscious that Arthur still regretted having to break his word: "I gave you no choice, Arthur."

Arthur paused, gave a wry smile, and replied, "No, you didn't, did you?" But there was no reproach in his reply.

Once safely back within their own borders, they made camp for the night, and Arthur insisted that he would still take one of the watches, and told them to wake him when it was his turn. Unlike the previous night and all nights since they had lost the child, Arthur almost immediately fell into a deep and peaceful sleep. And when morning came, and Arthur woke of his own accord, to find his knights all up and Merlin cooking breakfast, it slowly dawned on him that he had slept through the entire night. He wandered over to join the others, "You didn't wake me as I'd asked."

But rather than looking worried at their disobedience being found out, they just smiled at their king, and Leon acted as spokesperson, "No, my lord."

Arthur gave a little laugh and shook his head. "I'm beginning to think that my servant is having a bad influence on you all."

But Merlin just simply called out to Arthur, "Hungry?" and Arthur nodded.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Once back in Camelot, Arthur did not return to his wife straight away but first went with Merlin to see Gaius privately.

"I have to ask, Gaius – as far as you know, is there really nothing else that can be done to enable Guinevere to have children?"

"I'm afraid not, my Lord."

"I just had to be sure before I spoke to her"

"Would you prefer me to break the news to her, Sire, as her physician?"

"Thank you for the offer Gaius, but it has to be me who tells Guinevere. She needs to be assured that my love for her has not changed."

"Very well, my Lord"

And with that, Arthur looked over to Merlin once more, and held his gaze for several seconds, before nodding to acknowledge Merlin's help in all that had happened and then he left, closing the door quietly behind him.

As soon as the door was closed, Merlin suddenly said to Gaius, "She was always going to win, wasn't she?" and Gauis knew exactly who he was talking about. Merlin continued: "As soon as Morgana put that potion into Gwen's water, it was always going to end terribly for Arthur, whatever happened. At worst, he would end up killed by Lot's men, and at the very least, he would end up without an heir, and if she was lucky, which she wasn't in this case, a war would break out between us and Lot.

Is it ever going to end, Gaius? Is it ever going to be over in a way that doesn't involve Arthur lying dead somewhere?"

"Well, despite everything that Morgana has thrown at him, Arthur is still on the throne, and that is an achievement in itself. And what's more, Camelot not only has the finest king and queen it's ever known or it likely to know, but it also has the greatest warlock who has ever walked this earth protecting it, and that is why we, rather than Morgana, are on the winning side".

"If you say so". Merlin couldn't help but grin at his mentor.

"But it has to be said, the greatest warlock ever is starving!"

"I'm sure I can find something that will fill an empty stomach! You deserve it, Merlin".

And as Gaius began to prepare a meal for him, he asked him how Arthur took it all, but Merlin was true to the word that all of them had given to Arthur, and all he would say to Gaius on that matter was "I will leave that to your imagination", and Gaius had enough wisdom to not ask anything further.

And just as Merlin was taking a seat to wait for his meal, Arthur was entering his own chambers to perform one of the hardest duties that he'd ever have to do as a husband. But when he walked into the room, Gwen immediately saw a different man to the one who had left her. She could see that the anger had gone out of him, and there seemed to be a peace about him in its place. She rose to her feet and ran over to him and embraced him, and as she held him tight, Lady Clare who had been with her, also rose, curtseyed to Arthur and left them both alone. When the door had closed, Arthur led Gwen over to a chair, and they both sat down, with Arthur taking her hands in his. And so it was that, having so recently outpoured his own grief on the shoulder of his closest friend, Arthur was able with a new strength to gently and lovingly break the news to his wife that he knew would break her heart once again.

Through her sobs, one broken sentence came out: "I have failed you as a wife, Arthur!"

Arthur spoke gently once again. "Guinevere, I did not marry you because I wanted an heir. I married you because I loved you and wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. And that hasn't changed. And if anyone has failed, then it is I. I did not protect you as well as I should have, and this has only happened to you because you are married to me. I am so sorry Guinevere, that I have indirectly been the one who is responsible for this."

Guinevere's sobbing subsided a little with the assurance of Arthur's love and commitment to her, but she then uttered the words that Arthur had hoped he would never hear. "What about magic? Couldn't that be used so that I can give you an heir?"

But Arthur was prepared, although he didn't answer her until he'd soothed her enough so that she could properly take in what she was saying. Again he spoke gently, but firmly.

"No, Guinevere. My mother died because my father followed that path"

"But she bore him you, Arthur. How could that be wrong?" And before he could reply, she added in a whisper, "I would willingly give my life if I could bear you such a son."

Arthur put his finger under her chin and lifted it so that he could look into her eyes: "Guinevere – I will say this to you however many times you need to hear it until you know it to be true in your heart: you are worth more to me than ten sons , and I couldn't bear to lose you". And with that he kissed her on the lips and showed his love to her.

And whilst it was undoubtedly the case that Morgana's actions had indeed brought Arthur to his knees, it was also the case that when he rose to stand on his feet again, he was a better king than he'd been before. He and Guinevere would be known during their reigns for their compassion and kindness, and the queen would always have a particular care for any child in the realm who was suffering, and the king would show an uncommon generosity and understanding towards the weaknesses of others. And many an orphan in Camelot found a home within their walls, and it could be truly said of them, that more children were cared for by them than if Guinevere had been able to bear them herself.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Whilst what had happened in the clearing high up in the Vale of Ishatar had brought a measure of healing to Arthur and helped him to express his grief, it had done nothing to take it away. He would still have good days and bad days, and three days after their return was one of the latter. When Merlin entered the dining hall after breakfast, Arthur was sitting alone at the long table. He had left Guinevere sleeping, and didn't want to disturb her, and he didn't immediately see Merlin as he walked in. In that moment it seemed to Merlin that Arthur was wearier than he'd even seen him, as if he were carrying the weight of the whole world on his young shoulders. Rarely had Merlin seen such hopelessness in his eyes, and an unmistakable air of sadness still hung over him.

It was difficult for Merlin to believe that this was the same person he had first met on arriving in Camelot all that time ago. He marvelled at the fact that he could have once thought Arthur so lucky to have such an easy and privileged life. Merlin saw the terrible price that Arthur was paying for following the path that he hadn't chosen but which he knew it was his duty to take – the path that had again and again put him and those he loved into the firing line. And now here he was, carrying deep and terrible wounds because of it. And Merlin was also acutely aware of the limitations of his powers – magic was impotent to heal a wounded heart, and there wasn't a spell in the world that could take Arthur's grief away. But he also knew that Arthur still had a destiny to fulfil, and it was his job, as ever, to help pick his friend up as Gaius had done for him the day before, and keep him walking his path. And Merlin knew that there were other things that could help, and friendship was one of those things.

When Arthur suddenly became aware that Merlin had walked into the room, it appeared that his mood lightened slightly. Whether this was because of his presence or because Arthur was merely trying to hide his true feelings again, Merlin wasn't sure.

Merlin went over to clear the breakfast away, which remained largely untouched. Merlin noticed with concern just how much thinner Arthur looked, and the king caught the look on Merlin's face.

"You need to eat, Sire"

"Missing a few meals isn't going to kill me – besides, you're always telling me that I eat too much anyway."

There was, at least, something approaching a smile on Arthur's tired face.

"Yes, but everyone will think you don't like my food."

"But they already know that." It was Arthur's attempt at a joke, but it was still said with a weariness in his voice.

"How's Gwen?"

"Her body is healing well."

"And her heart?"

"It's been broken too many times recently . I wonder whether either of us will ever be happy again.

I keep thinking, if only I hadn't waited before going, if only had acted when you'd first told me, then maybe…"

"Arthur, don't!" said Merlin, cutting in on Arthur. "I have no doubt that if we'd acted earlier then Morgana would have done so too."

That seemed to bring a small measure of comfort to the king, who once more valued Merlin's counsel. So Arthur spoke the question that had been troubling him so deeply when his servant had walked into the room: "Merlin, how are we ever going to win against sorcery? It feels like we're facing a siege engine with… " – Arthur searched for the right metaphor – "with a wooden sword."

"Even a wooden sword, if carefully placed, can foul the workings of the mightiest engine."

A weary smile came to Arthur's face. "Is there no end to your never failing optimism?"

But the smile quickly faded.

"Arthur, we're not going to lose! We have something she has none of - love and loyalty – they are still there. If it came down to just the sorcery wielded by Morgana and those like her, we would have been swept away by their powers a long time ago. The love and loyalty of your people are far stronger than anything Morgana can summon up. And you will get over this". Merlin paused. "And you have Camelot's greatest weapon."

"What's that?"

Merlin leant in and whispered to Arthur, "Me!"

Arthur laughed – a genuine laugh this time - and shook his head.

"That's better" said Merlin, as Arthur's mood lifted.

"Optimism is one thing, Merlin. Delusion is quite another!"

"You know, it's just as well that they don't know who I really am!" (and Merlin desperately hoped in his heart that that was the case). "It's my unpredictability that makes me so dangerous!"

"You're telling me!"

"Like now…" and with that he placed a crossbow on the table.

"What's this?"

Merlin leant in once again and whispered to Arthur, "A crossbow."

The clip round the ear that his answer earned him was a small price to pay for the smile that was beginning to play around Arthur's mouth and for the familiar old expression on his face, as if to say "Don't be clever".

"I've taken the liberty of cancelling all your court duties today….."

"Merlin, you remember that thing I was saying about who's running this kingdom…? You can't just go around cancelling the king's duties!"

"Well, I have, because you have an even more important duty today. Today's exactly the right day for us to be crawling through undergrowth in the mud and for you to be massacring the rabbit population so that I can then make for you the best stew you have ever tasted."

"What better than your rat stew?"

"Infinitely….."

"And do I have a choice in this?"

At this moment, Merlin and Arthur's exchange was interrupted by the entrance of the inner circle of the knights of the Round Table, and Merlin answered Arthur's question: "Not unless you want to risk being physically dragged to the Round Table and out-voted….."

The knights were not wearing their chain mail, but were in simpler wear, and with bags and crossbows slung around them. It was clear to Arthur that they were coming too.

Gwaine was the first to speak. "I'm only here of course because Merlin said you were offering a barrel of ale if any of us could bag more kills than you."

Merlin protested loudly, "I said no such thing!"

Leon addressed Arthur. "Clare will be over shortly to take the Queen on a walk in the woods, and we will be joining them there when we break for lunch at noon".

Arthur, seeing the kindness of his friends, realised to his horror that he was in very real danger of losing control again of his still fragile emotions. But something stirred deep within his heart – a belief that love and loyalty really were a real force to be reckoned with, and a profound sense of gratitude that he was fortunate to be surrounded by a group of men who were without equal.

Arthur decided that the best way to counteract the lump in his throat, was to throw himself whole-heartedly into what had been planned. As he stood up, he turned to Merlin again: "Merlin, I'm surprised that you have so little faith in my hunting ability that you offered only one barrel!"

Despite Merlin's continuing denials of ever having made such an offer, Arthur continued: "Make it two barrels!", and looking at Gwaine's crossbow he added, "After all, I seriously doubt on past evidence that Gwaine will ever be able to hit a moving target with one of those!"

The knights all laughed, knowing Arthur's words to be perfectly true.

Gwaine, however, suddenly whacked Pervical with his crossbow: "Wrong again!"

Elyan added his contribution to the banter: "The only reason you hit him is that Percival's so large you couldn't miss!"

And with that they left the dining hall and headed out for a hunt that they would all remember for years. And the king, of course, was true to his word that if anyone bagged more game than he, they would be given two barrels of ale. It was fortunate for Gwaine's wellbeing and that of Camelot in general, that he didn't win them. But then again, none of the others did either.


End file.
